Nothing compares to the emotional and practical challenges of losing a spouse. Your grief may be overwhelming, but amid the emotional turmoil, you have several essential tasks to address. Closing out your spouse’s life can take months, but breaking it down into manageable steps makes it less daunting. Follow this guide to help you focus on what must be done while allowing yourself time to grieve and heal.

What to Do Immediately

In the hours following your spouse’s passing, certain tasks must be completed to set the stage for the coming weeks. Don’t hesitate to ask others for help, including relatives, friends, lawyers, and financial experts.

Obtain an Official Declaration of Death

If your spouse passed away in a hospital or nursing home, the staff will likely handle this for you. Otherwise, you may need to call 911 to have them transported to an emergency room for an official declaration. This is crucial for obtaining a death certificate, which you’ll need for future arrangements.

Notify Family, Friends, and Employer

Share the news of your spouse’s death as soon as you’re ready. Begin by calling close family members and friends. If the thought of multiple phone calls overwhelms you, a group text or email may be appropriate. Many people share the news on social media to notify a broader circle.

You’ll also need to inform your spouse’s employer to process final paychecks, unused vacation time, and other benefits. Double-check your spouse’s contact list to make sure you don’t inadvertently leave someone out.

Review Funeral Requests

If your spouse pre-planned their funeral, locate the relevant documents and contact the designated funeral home. If prior arrangements don’t exist, select a provider and begin planning funeral services.

What to Do Within a Few Days

Once you’ve taken care of the immediate priorities, turn your attention to other important matters that can be handled within the next few days.

Plan the Funeral or Memorial Service

Planning a service can be emotionally challenging but also healing. Decide whether you’d like to hold a funeral, memorial, or celebration of life and whether the service will be religious or non-religious. If your spouse made their wishes known before their passing, follow them as closely as possible.

If your spouse was a veteran, they might be eligible for a military funeral or burial in a national cemetery. Contact the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) to explore these options.

Obtain Certified Copies of the Death Certificate

You will need up to 10 certified copies of your spouse’s death certificate to handle financial accounts, insurance claims, and legal matters. The funeral home can often assist with this, or you can request copies through your state’s vital records office.

Pause or Cancel Services

Review your spouse’s subscriptions, memberships, and recurring bills. Cancel or update the account information on streaming services, gym memberships, phone plans, newspaper deliveries, and more.

What to Do Within Two Weeks

As you progress through the grieving process, you may be ready to take on more complex tasks. Aim to initiate the following steps within two weeks of your spouse’s passing, but know they may take months to resolve.

Clean Up Digital Accounts

Addressing your spouse’s online presence is an important step. Decide whether to delete or memorialize their social media pages and close their email accounts to prevent identity theft. You may need a death certificate and proof of your relationship or executor status to complete these tasks.

Notify Financial Institutions and Government Agencies

Contact your spouse’s banks, insurance providers, credit card companies, and other financial institutions. Provide a copy of the death certificate and inquire about closing or transferring accounts. If your spouse shared accounts with you, ask how to update the account holder’s information.

It’s also important to inform the Social Security Administration (SSA) about your spouse’s death, as they may stop or adjust benefits. If you’re eligible for survivor benefits, the SSA will guide you through the application process. Then, contact the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) to cancel your spouse’s driver’s license and remove them from voter registration rolls.

Update Legal Documents

If your spouse had a will, contact the attorney who prepared it. The executor or personal representative named in the will can guide you through settling the estate. If your spouse didn’t leave a will, your state’s probate process will determine how assets are distributed. This is also a good time to update your will, power of attorney, and beneficiaries on financial accounts or insurance policies.

Contact a Financial Advisor

If your spouse handled the family’s finances, you might feel overwhelmed by the responsibility. Consider consulting a financial advisor who can help you organize your accounts, review investments, and create a plan for the future.

Leave Room to Grieve the Loss of Your Spouse

Amid all the practical matters, don’t neglect your emotional well-being. Grieving the loss of a spouse is a deeply personal journey that evolves over time. Here are some tips to support your healing:

Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions arise, and don’t rush the process.
Lean on friends, family, or support groups for comfort and commiseration.
Start a new hobby, volunteer with a local nonprofit, or create new routines to regain a sense of stability.
Seek guidance from a therapist or counselor to help navigate your emotions and work through feelings of loss.
Find ways to honor your spouse’s memory, such as planting a tree, creating a photo album of cherished moments, or donating to a cause they cared about.

Agape Hospice & Palliative Care Is Here for You

Losing a spouse is one of life’s most challenging experiences, but Agape Hospice & Palliative Care is here to help. We are a locally owned and nationally accredited hospice provider serving Los Angeles and Orange County, but our services don’t stop at healthcare. We pride ourselves on offering compassionate, personalized bereavement support and social services to help you after the loss of a loved one. If you need guidance during this difficult time, don’t hesitate to contact us. We’ll lighten your burden so you can focus on healing.

What to Do When Your Spouse Dies